My Facebook Note

In case you aren't my friend on Facebook, here is the note I put out there for my Facebook friends. I received so much encouragement and support. I love my Facebook friends!

love Facebook because I’ve connected with friends from all walks of life. It has been so fun reconnecting!

This post is for those who aren’t aware of what Chris and I went through to have our son Micah. Never in our wildest dreams did we think we would have another child. Almost 40 and pregnant, who would have thought?

Chris and I got married almost 5 years ago and decided to start a family immediately. We put it in God’s hands. Six months later I was pregnant and the roller coaster began: miscarriages, surgeries, tests, infertility treatments. As soon as we made it through one phase, we barely caught our breath before it all began again.

By the time we conceived Micah we were old hands at infertility treatments. Our numbers were bad that cycle and one of my ovaries had stopped working. The good one had only two follicles. And my mom and dad were both in the hospital having major surgery. All odds were against us medically, but God’s favor gave us sweet success.

On the day Micah was conceived, my cousin Shelby Kate Strawn was born. She overcame great odds and continues to do so every day. I think she was our good luck charm.

My pregnancy went off without a hitch and we considered ourselves very blessed. We were told it wasn’t going to be possible to have more children, so we moved on with life and enjoyed our son.

I wrote a blog about this journey and you can read it at http://bellriley.blogspot.com/.

I got pregnant the month after Micah turned two. I have never been more surprised than when the doctor told me I was pregnant. I asked him to see my numbers (remember—we were old hands at infertility) and they were very, very good.

After I stopped staring at the paint on the wall, which lasted at least three weeks, I started asking God if He knew what He was doing. This baby was conceived in what I considered bad timing.

I am staying at home and enjoying that journey, but it was in no way my plan or desire at the start. I think it took a good three months to heal from my bad experience at Tech. During the healing process, I felt closer to God than I have in years. Each day the beauty outweighed the pain because God gave me a deep peace and hope about my future.

I am still trying to absorb all of this. Trying to discern God’s plan and purpose for my future and throwing this amazing and unexpected blessing in the mix. At a time when I was reconciling with God, He placed His hand on my womb. It’s almost too much for me to comprehend.

During my time off, I have devoted time to finish a project that has been floating around in my head for more than a year. I am producing a website and Bible study for women and couples going through infertility.

It is my hope with the website to create a sense of community for those suffering the pain of infertility. The website will have a Bible study, a journal I kept during our painful time and testimonies shared by others who faced the infertility battle. I know it will take a life of it’s own and I can’t imagine how God will grow it.

It is under edit right now and I hope to go live with it early fall. God has been so good to give me the time to work on this passion without major financial difficulty.

As far as this baby journey, I am reminded every day that God will bless us even when we are in the refining fire. He will completely surprise us and give us bubbles of joy when we desperately need it and in no way expect it.

Don’t get me wrong, I am sick of being nauseated. There are some days I ask why I have to suffer that indignity. And it’s still shocking to see baby stuff and maternity clothes returning to our house.

But I am carrying around a note card with this scripture.

For we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28

With this pregnancy, God’s word stands true. When I started realizing I was not doing His purpose in my life and drew closer to Him, He worked for my good and gave us a miracle.

I am still in awe. I love the story Beth Moore tells about when God decides to move, you better duck or the mighty will of God will knock you down. There is no stopping His perfect will.

Growing up in SW NM and living in Lubbock, I am used to strong winds. Yet this fresh wind of God’s love and grace is humbling. Chris and I have felt the strong wind of God’s will in our life and He has given us more than we could ask or imagine.

My prayer for you is that you feel the strong wind of God’s blessing in your life.

Thanks for listening, friend.

Pray for Writer’s Block

As the pregnancy becomes real and morning sickness very present, I have to admit my work on the website is almost at a standstill. My desire to produce it is very strong, but I am extremely sick most of the time and am having a hard time writing.

I ask for prayer on my writer’s block.

I’m in Complete and Total Shock

I went to the doctor yesterday for a check-up. I haven’t mentioned much about this before, but as I’ll be 40 in December I have decided to have a hysterectomy this fall. My doctor likes to do monthly blood tests in preparation for the surgery.

I’ve been twice and it’s give blood, wait a few minutes and go. This time the lab tech told me the doctor would like to see me. I walked into his office and before I could even sit down he asked me if I had come in for a pregnancy test.

I laughed/shouted “no!” He looked me in the eye and gave me news I never thought I would receive. I am pregnant.

He said he wanted to run a few more tests and had me wait for the results. That took about an hour. I don’t remember much about that hour except for calling Chris, who was out of town at the National Track Meet.

The doc came back in and said everything looked great. I mutely nodded “OK” and then was escorted to my car because I could not remember where I parked or what my car looked like.

The utter shock is because I was told this was impossible. That I would not be able to have another baby after Micah. We accepted this news and moved on to enjoy our son and marriage.

I can’t quite comprehend all of this. During a time of professional reflection and healing (remember I lost my job), God has chosen to give me one of the biggest blessings possible. Words escape me. I praise Him because this child is wonderfully made. Thank you Lord.

Mother’s Day

I woke up this morning to my favorite coffee and scone from Daybreak Coffee and a movie of Micah’s first two years. All three of us watched it while cuddled in bed. I cried a lot—it’s amazing watching your child grow through video. The best gift ever!

When I had Micah, I vowed to celebrate each Mother’s Day with gusto. I celebrate it two ways: as a mother and as a grateful daughter.

But I have to be honest. A part of me grieves the babies I lost. I will never forget the pain I felt the Mother’s Day after my miscarriage. I went to church and cried through the entire service. We went out to eat and every one told me Happy Mother’s Day. There was a family outing, but I did not go.

I am praying for all of you who feel this pain and wish the day would just end. Keep in mind there is someone who will carry you through this pain. His name is Jesus.

I Have an Editor!

I am so excited. Work on the website is going well and a big answer to prayer was received. A close friend, who is a published Christian author, agreed to edit the Bible study.

Friend Me on Facebook

Another way to reach me is on Facebook. Search for Jennifer Bell Riley and be my friend!

Woman at Work

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I am sorry I have not posted much. I am working on the website content and have put all my energy there. Good news—my very talented husband has agreed to be my website master.

I continue to pray for those who’ve contacted me. You are never far from my thoughts and heart.