What I’ve Learned as a New Parent

1. God put grandparents, aunts and friends on this earth because as a new parent you have no idea what you are doing (1 month)
2. Dry cleaning does not remove spit up (2 months)
3. Five straight hours of sleep are a gift from God (3 months)
4. The $80-100 you spend on an exersaucer is worth every cent (4 months)
5. The first time he eats orange or green baby food is painful for both of you (5 months)
6. Finding the baby where you left him (on the floor playing or in the exersaucer) is priceless (6 months)
7. To a baby, French kissing a dog is no big deal and kinda fun (7 months)
8. A baby hat is not for warmth, it’s a new toy (8 months)
9. A baby can crawl anywhere (9 months)
10. Even if a baby can’t speak, he can certainly express his opinion (10 months)
11. If you are introducing self-feeding, be sure and check his ears before he goes to bed (11 months)
12. It’s true when they say babies learn more in their first year than adults learn in 5 years (12 months)
13. Snot, pee, blood, spit-up and poop will not kill you, it will only make you stronger (every month!)