We Don’t Know What Happened

As I said, the pregnancy test was positive on Sunday and just to be sure I made a doctor appointment the following Tuesday. They drew blood and called me an hour later. I can still hear the nurse say “PREGNANT!” I had a hard time trusting the home pregnancy test and was relieved to hear those words.
Four hours later I went to the bathroom. Bright red blood. I was at work and screamed inside my head “no! No! NO!” I called the doctor and they said to monitor the bleeding. It is usual to spot and not to worry . Two hours later, things were bad. I miscarried and the words of the nurse still sting “we don’t really know what happened.” I asked if I should come in and she said my body would naturally take care of things because I wasn’t that far along. I almost hated her and the doctor at the moment. I needed to see someone. I had just lost my baby!
Even though I had only known I was pregnant for a few days, I loved that baby. I had big plans for that baby. I could not wait until February to meet that baby. The pain was almost unbearable. Both physically and emotionally, I was not equipped to deal with the loss of the baby. I stayed home for a week and cried. Good friends emailed and visited and brought me words of encouragement. God did send me many angels. He was faithful and did provide. It just wasn’t what I had in mind. We were encouraged to wait two months and try again.